Once upon a time, there was a girl named Alix.
Now, Alix has never known what it is like to be at a healthy weight. Since about the age of 2, she grew. She grew and grew and grew, and not just in height.
When she was younger, she didn’t care. She didn’t know. But as time passed, boys came into the picture. Boys, parties, outings, rude remarks… and a lack of self-confidence and self-worth.
She tried every diet under the sun; liquid only diets, 0 carb diets, pill diets, store-bought diets, the grapefruit diet, fruit only diet, no fruit diet, soup diets… everything. Every attempt was a fail. This failure brought on Binge Eating Disorder, where she would emotionally eat and not stop, despite not feeling hungry. She would put on a brave face out in public, no-one could’ve ever guessed that the overly happy, giggly girl could be so torn up inside.
It has been a long time since her quest began for a healthy body, but it’s only been recently that she’s managed to conquer a healthy mind. The binging has gone, exercise has come into play, and most recently, Tone It Up has come into her world and taught her all she need know in order to achieve her absolute best self she can be.
This morning she hopped on the scales and saw a number. Not a number in the eighties. Not a number in the seventies. But a number in the sixties. For the first time in about 10 years.
Now, the scale doesn’t usually matter too much to her, as long as she feels good then that’s all that matters. But this number means more to her than anyone could ever imagine; it’s a sign that she is finally making progress. Finally getting closer to her goals. Finally reviving her confidence, her self-worth. Leaving her old self behind.
She is becoming the best person that she can possibly be.
I have some super exciting news ladies and gentlemen!! :D
I weighed myself this morning aaaanddd….
<insert drumroll here>
I am .3 away from being in the 60’s!!!!!
I can’t remember the last time I was in the 60s!! It would literally be about 10 years… Oh man, OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN!!! I saw the number this morning and I literally had a little party for one! There was dancing involved and some singing… it was great :) Hehe and that’s the reaction I get now, I’m probably going to self-combust when I actually get to the 60s! Hahaha, but it put me in a fantastic mood, that’s for sure!
And today is Thursday, which holds my worst class ever. Uuuunngghhhh. Let’s put it this way; the class is basically 4 hours of continuous stress where my tutor basically tells me how dreadful I am before failing me (We have in-class assignments each week. Woo.) Yuuppp. BUT EVEN THROUGH THAT I STAYED POSITIVE!!!
Oh, the power of reaching your goals :’)
Pretty much sums me up right now ^
So yup. That was me. 2 years ago. 10 kilos ago. I’m not sure how accurate this image is showing me, it could even be doing me justice, because I was towering above in the 80 kilo range here.
I know you’ve seen my face before, but I looked terrible in that one… more so than usual! So I had to do some touch-ups, hope you don’t mind! I feel like it really brings out the colour of my eyes. And my friends all naturally look that way (I kid, I kid! My artistic inspiration was Liz from one-twenty-five, she’s awesome if you haven’t seen her tumblr by the way!)
Revisiting this photo has really opened my eyes… I remember at the time I thought I looked good, as I’d been trying to lose weight for the occasion.
Oh, how wrong I was.
Seeing this photo, I’m going to make a promise to you and me, right here right now…
I will never be that big again.
(Oh and P.S, your eyes aren’t deceiving you, that is a little tear coming out of my eyeball)
Well, I weighed myself this morning.
I did not lose a THING! Sad face. How am I exactly the same as last week?!
Okay, sure, I was a bit of a curry fiend this weekend… and sure, I went out for drinks on Friday night… and sure a small but delectable chocolate mysteriously ended up in my mouth (it really, really wanted me to eat it) BUT I STILL EXERCISED MY BUTT OFF!
Sigh. I guess I will plod on and keep my head held high! (and give or take the curry… and drinks and chocolate)
In fact, while I’m on this subject I’m going to pledge HERE AND NOW that for the next month I will not have a single drop of alcohol. Now, this may not sound like a very long time, but I’m starting small people. And as much as this makes me sound like a raging alcoholic I promise I’m not, I just go to events where there seems to be lots of alcohol around, and who am I to say no?! Plus I’m kind of Greek, so alcohol seems to be everywhere all the time.
BUT I WILL BE STRONG! Iron Woman comin’ atcha!
Just before I sign off tonight, I just had to share something…
YOU BET that’s a pomegranate!
Also, may I introduce you to one of my infamous bed socks.
Well, I’m going to go devour this and then sleep! (most likely after the 3 hours that it’s going to take me to eat this)
GUYS I MANAGED TO PEEL MY AMAZINGLY COMFORTABLE BED SOCKS OFF MY FEET AND GO!!
I did a combination of power walking and running for 10km… and then tackled Jacob’s Ladder.
You can barely even see the top there are JUST THAT MANY STEPS! There are 242 of them there ladies and gentlemen, and I went up and down TWICE! I’m so proud of myself :’)
My legs are officially like jelly. BUT I got a pretty nice view at the top which made it that much more do-able! Also, there was a drink fountain at the top, and I was incredibly keen for some water in my belly…
Each step I would try and think of a reason why I was doing this, and it really helped me when I was struggling!
Planning to increase the amount of times I ascend and descend these miracle makers, and I’m going to do it 2 times a week. I promise.
JACOB WILL DE-JIGGLE ME!
The future is bright, my lovelies :)
I’ve managed to get changed into my running clothes…
… I just can’t seem to get myself to take off my warm, snuggly bed socks.
So, here I am.
Sitting at my desk, in my pyjamas (complete with fluffy blue bed socks with little clouds on them) at 1:32 on a Sunday afternoon.
You may be asking, “Who is this girl?! Does she have any friends? How sad.”
And the answer is yes… I promise. I’m just lazy.
It is absolutely FREEZING here at the present moment, yet the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I have a beautiful mug of green tea warming up my fingers. Tim Burton’s creation may have been Edward-Scissor-Hands, but I am Alix-Icicle-Fingers.
I should be totally content right now, doing absolutely nothing, right? But all I can seem to think about is how my pyjama pants are just a wee bit too tight as they hug my love handles and how my belly is bigger than my boobs as I sit here typing this.
I have been overweight (nay, obese!) practically my ENTIRE life! I couldn’t tell you what it’s like to be thin. To be truly healthy. But I sure as heck want to find out! I reached my peak in year 12 of high school, and since then have lost around 10 kilos (yay me!), moving me down into the “overweight” category, but I have about another 15-20kg to lose.
And BOY am I determined!! I have signed up for weight watchers (third time lucky?!), and have just started doing HIIT (high intensity interval training) 4 times a week, for about the last 2 weeks, and already I feel a million dollars :) For once, I am truly excited of where I am going.
I have tried a bajillion diets in my time, each one always coming to a screeching halt. Events got in the way, my patience died out, and it was always a friend’s birthday or a family member’s birthday… but I’ve come to the realisation that things will always pop up. There will ALWAYS be events, there will ALWAYS be obstacles I just have to climb over. Life gets in the way! There’s nothing I can do about that. And wouldn’t it be lovely to go to an event sometime in the future wearing my dream outfit with a bad-ass bum, cheek bones and a whole load of confidence? YES PLEASE! I am in it for the long haul.
I feel like I’m finally in the right head-space to keep on going. FINALLY THE COIN HAS DROPPED! I feel like everyone knows the equation for losing weight… exercise + healthy eating = weight loss?! Who knew?? Yet why has it been the most difficult thing to accomplish? It is all a mind game.
Why should I let a cookie rule my life?! Why should I take orders from a giant bowl of creamy pasta? It seems so futile to me now. I don’t have to gobble up everything I lay my eyes on, if it’s really tempting that I would just DIE if I didn’t have some, then I can have some. In moderation. Then exercise later!
I am 19. These are supposedly the best years of my life, and I’m spending them fat.
NOT NO MORE, I SAY!
So, here I am, now at 2:00pm on a Sunday afternoon committing to myself. Beginning a new chapter. Turning over a new leaf. Sharing my journey. Because I will thank myself for the rest of my life :)